My Thoughts On The Dan Bacon ‘Women Wearing Headphones Drama.’

Did someone say ‘bacon?’

Mmmm… bacon!

 

Just over a month ago Australian dating and confidence coach Dan Bacon re-posted a post from 2013 called: “How To Talk To a Woman Wearing Headphones.”

 

In the post Bacon gives a step by step account of how to approach women wearing headphones:

  • Stand 1 to 1.5 metres in front of a woman wearing headphones
  • Have a confident easy-going smile that communicates “Hey, how’s it going?”
  • If that doesn’t work get her attention with a wave of the hand in her direct line of sight
  • Start a conversation with her

 

In my experience this advice is on point and works.

What’s not on point is Bacon’s advice to make up a time constraint.  If you have one by all means declare that if you feel the need; if you don’t then don’t make one up. Get in the habit with being honest with women from the start. Besides, she knows if your time constraint is real or made up. And don’t feel you have to exit in hurry. If she’s got nothing on and the approach is going well she’ll want to stay and talk to you.

I share my thoughts approaching women wearing headphones in more detail  later in this post, but first let’s look at the mass-hysteria surrounding Bacon’s expose and the event that is quickly turning into Baconloo.

Within a few days of Bacon re-posting his post the feminist media throughout the world went into overdrive. In Australia The Sydney Morning Herald ran an article called “Why everyone’s talking about talking to women wearing headphones.”   The second paragraph ends with the line “[Bacon’s post] has become an opportunity for women to vent their frustration over male entitlement.”

Fuck me.

Since when has approaching a woman wearing headphones become male entitlement?  Ah, yes, of course, since modern-day feminist and feminism made it their focus to destroy men and make women the superior sex.

 

The article goes on to say:

Women – or anyone of any gender, for that matter – wearing headphones have already made their choice. They’ve chosen to listen to whatever it is that is playing through their headphones, rather than to the noises of the outside world. A stranger who would like to talk to them for the purposes of getting sex counts as “noises of the outside world”, so you can already start to see the problem here.

 

Nope.  I can’t see any problem here at all.

Actually, I can.  I see the problem of feminists once again thinking they’re entitled to make generalizations and position them as facts.

The fact of the matter is only some women wearing headphones don’t want to be approached.  And if I was wearing headphones and a beautiful woman approached me I would stop and talk to her.

Fact.

When I talk to or approach women I don’t do so for the purpose of getting sex.  I’m sure there are some guys out there who only have this motive, but not me.  When I talk to women I’m interested in my main focus is finding out what she’s like, what her interests and passions are. I want to know if she’s someone I could get romantically involved with.

On with the show…

In the UK the Independent ran a piece called: “Dan Bacon: How To Talk To a Woman Who Is Wearing Headphones – a short screen play.”   Bacon is referred to as ‘The Pedestrian Accoster’ by ‘the always put in the friend zone and male feminist writer,’ Christopher Hooten.

Our beta male wordsmith thinks he’s funny and thought he’d cash in on Dan Bacon drama with a mock screen play.  In Hooten’s head the outcome of a man approaching a woman wearing headphones goes like this:

You: [Smile in a friendly, confident manner]  🙂 Hey – I know it’s not normal for people to talk to someone with headphones in, but I was walking along and saw you and thought – wow, she’s a cutie, I have to say hi. I’m Dan, what’s your name?

Woman: [Usually flattered by the compliment and impressed by your confidence to approach her like that Baring teeth] Back off or so help me god I will dropkick you into that canal.

You: [Add in some humor] Cool…nice to meet you Jessica. I don’t normally talk to girls with headphones, but your big green headphones were just calling out to me.

Woman: [Most likely laughing, smiling and enjoying the interaction Assuming the expression and demeanour of the Alien when it bursts out of John Hurt’s chest] And your individually-toed running shoes were calling out to me. I was thinking, ‘what absolute weapon actually wears those?’, but then you opened your mouth and used the word ‘cutie’ and it all made sense.

You: [Let her know that you have something to do/somewhere to go, so she understands that you’re not going to stand there talking to her for 30 minutes] Anyway, so I’m just out doing a bit of shopping at the moment. I’m on my way to a store up the street. How’s your day going so far?

Woman: Terribly. I was 78 minutes into a podcast when you started saying things with your mouth and now I’m going to have to work back in 15-second increments to find where I was up to. What are you shopping for, microwavable pulled pork and a DVD of The Hangover Part III? If it’s a can of whoop ass you’re looking for I might be able to help.

You: Attempt to placate/impress her by looking at your fitness tracker and saying ‘phew, just another 8,000 calories to burn then(!). [Pause] Awh crap, I was supposed to think that bit, not say it!

Woman: [Tiring of your shit] Lol.

You: [Flexing muscles in an apologetic and yet patriarchal manner] Look, can we start over? I’m really a great guy. And that’s an evidence-based claim, you can read testimonials and user ratings from every woman who has ever allowed me to be in her vicinity. It’s all online.

Woman: [Silent]

You: Ah screw it, you stuck up bitch!

Audio cue: John Carpenter-esque synth line

WOMAN chokes MAN using the cable of her headphones, while informing him they’re actually more of a teal colour.

You: [With dying breath]: Ha you don’t even have Bluetooth headphones! I never wanted you anyway.

Jump cut to later that day. A dog on a nearby barge has his nose over the edge of the boat and is inhaling deeply. The barge owner, upon hearing noise, exits the boat to find his dog chewing on a leg, the foot of which is still covered by a five-toed shoe. The iPod Shuffle attached to the corpse is somehow still working; a motivational remixes playlist including four songs by Robin Thicke diffuses into the night air.

 

I stand corrected.  This guy isn’t beta…  he’s a fucking idiot!!

 

Over at Bustle Lara Rutherford-Morrison ( a hyphenated name is a classic move from a women who identifies more with her masculine than her feminine and indicator she keeps her partner’s balls in her purse) wrote a compelling post called : “The Best How To Talk to a Woman Who is Wearing Headphones Tweets on This Internet.”

You go girl!

Morrison calls Bacon ‘clueless’ and ‘entitled’ (there’s that word again) and in typical feminist fashion positions generalizations and opinions of a few as facts and hard-core evidence:

one good thing that has come out of it [the post] is a barrage of hilarious tweets from people who get the simple rule that if someone — male or female — is wearing headphones in public, they don’t want to talk.

 

Newsflash: I spoke to a girl wearing headphones while taking a break from writing this article.  And guess what. She didn’t tell me to fuck off or kick me in the balls.  Nope, we had a good chat.  Being friendly and social with women is not male entitlement, Morrison – it’s called being social and connecting with people.

 

Meanwhile, the feminist post, I mean the Huffington postwrote this little gem in their headline:

Do not pass go. Do not collect $200. Do not approach the woman in headphones.

Wow, that’s deep, man.

And true to form the man-hating feminist author, Jenna Amatulli, throws in the token generalization:

You know what a woman wants when she’s got her headphones in? To be left the hell alone.

 

These are just a few examples of what’s been published. The internet is ablaze with blog posts, articles, tweets, memes, videos, etc. of feminist attacking Bacon’s women in headphones post.  The Chicago Tribune ran a piece called “Sexist advice for approaching women wearing headphones.”  Stuff in New Zealand called their post “How to talk to women  wearing headphones: Ridiculous advice from dating expert has internet in stitches.” Martha Mills from the Guardian called Bacon’s advice “deeply sinister.”   And good ol’ Buzzfeed published a whole bunch of tweets from ‘outraged’ and entitled women in its post.  Here are two examples:

screenshot-48

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And check out the tweets from these white knights (guys who never get laid, but think by being nice to women they will):

screenshot-51

screenshot-49

 

One thoughtful feminist even rewrote Bacon’s headline for him:

screenshot-53

 

And here’s a feminist parody I found on You Tube

 

On the flip side Bacon has received a ton of support from strong, independent women in touch with their feminine, such as Jenny McCarthy, Michelle Andrews, and Joy Pullmann among others.  Read what they’re saying here.

 

My Thoughts On Approaching Women Wearing Headphones

 

Go for it.  If done the way Bacon suggests and she’s not a feminist a woman will welcome your approach.  Most single women want to be in a romance novel and day-dream about meeting Mr. Right ‘out of the blue.’  Why do you think Romance and Erotic Novels are so popular?

I generally won’t approach a woman wearing headphones when she’s in a café or waiting for public transport.  Why? Because I consider most people, not just women, who do this anti-social or disengaged from the world and not worth my time.  Besides, beautiful women who aren’t wearing headphones in cafes are plentiful, so I’d rather spend time talking to them.

As for approaching a woman wearing headphones who is walking or running my rule is simple – if she makes my heart skip a beat I’ll stop her and start a conversation.

If she doesn’t, I won’t.

 

As always, thanks for reading.

 

Share your thoughts

Have you approached a woman wearing headphones?  What was the outcome?

If you haven’t approached a woman wearing headphones would you?  Why? Why not?

 

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