How To Effortlessly Attract The Right Girl: Work Your Ass Off


I don’t know the exact figure but it’s safe to say 7 out of 10 guys settle in life and relationships. There are many reasons for this, but the main ones I’ve found since I’ve been a men’s coach are:

  • They major in minor things
  • They don’t believe they could do any better
  • They don’t invest in themselves
  • They’re not prepared to put in the hard work
  • They don’t get out of their comfort zone
  • They don’t have a Constitution
  • They don’t have a List


In this post we look at how the last two points help you effortlessly attract the perfect woman for you.   We’ll explore the other points in the Men’s Shed.


Without a [Constitution] you are a chameleon of a man – Bruce Bryans


I got the idea for writing my Constitution from two of my favorite authors: Bruce Bryans and Stephen Covey. Since I have written it I have experienced massive improvements in my life, including, but not limited to:

  • The way I treat and act around women I’m interested in
  • More amazing, high quality women coming into my life
  • Instinctively remaining cool, calm and collected in stressful situations and being the man everyone turns to in a crisis
  • Becoming a more assertive, powerful leader

Whenever I get off course, or slacken off, my Constitution acts as a GPS and gets me back on the right path.  It makes me accountable to myself first and then to others.  It means I do the right thing as opposed to the nice thing.  It means I do what’s right even when no-one’s around.  It means I’m continually working on myself to become the best version of my best self.

High quality women see me as a leader, respect me as a man, and not only want me, but want to stay with me.

Caveat: Don’t work on yourself just so you can meet ‘chicks.’ This will only backfire. Remember, high quality women have a built in bullshit detector. She’ll see straight through your facade before you even get a chance to say “hey, what’s up?”  Work on yourself because deep down being the best version of your best self is non-negotiable.  If you do this you’ll easily and effortlessly attract the perfect woman for you.

Below are some of the questions you can include in your Constitution.  Whether you call it that, a Code of Conduct, Mission Statement, or a Madeira Lizard isn’t important. What is important is getting your rear into gear and writing one.  This very act alone is your first step towards becoming the best version of your best self.  Most men wouldn’t take the time to even do this. But you’re not most men, are you?


 Examples of questions to include in your Constitution


  1. What am I unwilling to compromise on?
  2. How do I treat others day to day?
  3. In what manner do I conduct myself around women? 
  4. What do I want to bring about in my life?
  5. What am I willing to die trying to accomplish?
  6. Who are the people most important to me?
  7. What are the morals, values, and ethics I choose to live by?
  8. How do I act under pressure? 
  9. How do I act around other men? 
  10. What kind of man are you?  Or wanting to become?


The List

When everyone is your customer, no one is your customer

If you want to attract and keep the perfect woman for you then writing your list is non-negotiable.  As men, looks are very important to us, but what else would make the perfect woman for you?  I’ve been with incredibly sexy women who turned out to be nasty, backstabbing, immoral, unethical bitches.  I’ve also been with ‘average’ looking women who were the complete opposite. Attracting the right woman for you requires knowing without a shadow of doubt what she looks like, how she behaves, her age, social network, hobbies and interests, and so forth:

If you don’t define what it is you want by narrowing down your options, you’ll always get what  it is you don’t really want.  When it comes to attracting the right woman, she’ll never show up on your radar because you’ll have no idea what she really looks like or how she behaves – From “How To Attract The Right Girl”

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Examples of questions to include in your list:



What does she look like?

  • Hair and eye colour?
  • Body shape?
  • Skin tone?
  • Height?
  • Style?


Health & Fitness

  • Is she in good shape and works out regularly?
  • What diet does she follow?


Money & Career

  • Is she dependent or independent?
  • A spender or a saver?
  • Does she have debt? Would this bother you?
  • Is she career focused or entrepreneurial?
  • Is she open to having children and raising a family?

Family & Relationships

  • Does she have strong family ties?
  • Is she very social, or somewhere in between?
  • How does she treat the men in her life?


Spiritual Beliefs & Values

  • Does she uphold traditional views of male and female roles in relationships or is she more modern thinking
  • What’s her general outlook on life – positive, optimistic, realistic?
  • What kind of personal values does she have that are most important to you as a man?
  • How would you describe her character?


Skills, Talents & Intellect

  • Is she tertiary educated or more ‘street wise?’
  • Is she open minded or opinionated?
  • Does she set goals and chase them relentlessly or is she more modest in this area?


 Passions, Hobbies , Interests

  • What excites her and makes her interesting to you?
  • Does she have similar tastes in music, books, movies, etc as you?
  • Does she share your goals and ideal lifestyle?
  • What things do you want her to enjoy doing with you?



Take at least an hour out of your day and find a spot where you won’t be interrupted or disturbed drawing up both your Constitution and List.  Make sure you do each one separately, though. Take ownership of them and give them a name. This means they become a part of you and who you are. Don’t spend too much time on this. I’ve just called mine The Constitution of Michael Riley and The Perfect Woman For Me List. Once you’ve finished drawing up your Constitution and List refer to them every day and often throughout the day.  Don’t just read them, feel them. For example, what does it feel like to hang out with her, kiss her, make love to her?  Polish and fine tune both your Constitution and List as you go and grow.

One More Thing

Having a Code of Conduct and List is useless if you’re not prepared to work your ass off, get out of your comfort zone, and do new and exciting things.  What you’ve been doing up until now hasn’t been working, so take a moment and draw up another list – a list of activities, interests and hobbies you’re into or always wanted to do but have put off for whatever reason.  Once you’ve done that write  a promise that you’ll make time/find a way to do these activities and start creating a compelling life and lifestyle for yourself.

Remember: the more you look for something the less likely you’ll find it. Implement the advice given here not to meet women but to become the best version of your best self. When the time is right the perfect woman for you will show up. I promise you.

As always, thanks for reading.


P.s If you would like go deeper into this subject matter click here




I would like to acknowledge Bruce Bryans for the example questions used in this post.
Disclosure:  Links in this post are affiliate links. This means if you buy the recommended books I will receive a small commission.  This does not affect the price you pay for the book(s). Your investment in yourself helps me grow and sustain this blog.
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