A few years ago, when I was just starting to become better with women and relationships, I went to a “Xmas Singles Mingle.”
I’m not going to lie I RSVP’d with the intention of meeting someone.
You’re probably thinking, ‘no shit…it was a singles party.’
And you’re right…in theory.
In reality many men and women attend these events with no intention or focus on meeting anyone.
They turn up with a let’s see what happens mentality or just for the sake of turning up.
I know because I was one of them.
But like anything you want you need to have a plan in place, a strategy if you will.
You get what you focus on.
My focus was on meeting a woman who meets my selection criteria.
I was going to make it happen.
I should point out though, I wasn’t coming from a place of desperation or neediness, rather abundance and certainty – beautiful, high quality women are everywhere. If I don’t meet one tonight, that’s OK. I know it will happen.
As the night rolled on women were placing themselves in my orbit but none of them met my criteria.
That’s until a sexy, high energy, feminine woman, who we shall call ‘M’ grabbed me by the hand and started dancing with me.
We danced sexy all night and communicated through our bodies.
The dancing was so sexy I came twice.
‘I need to grab this woman’s number,’ I thought to myself.
‘She’s everything I’m looking for.’
I attracted ‘M’ to me by displaying confident body language, being self-assured and owning my value and worth.
I maintained eye contact with her until she looked away.
Women are unable to resist you at this point.
Typically, she threw a few congruence tests my way – a test women do to see if you’re the real deal – which I passed with ease. If you want to know what and why women test I strongly urge you to get your hands on “What Women Want When They Test Men,” by Bruce Bryans
How to ask a woman for her number
You don’t ask…you assert yourself.
You do it in such a way that you convey to her that you’re used to getting numbers and that you just expect it to happen.
For example, I take out my phone, hand it to her and say ‘I’ve had a great time…we should do it again..give me your number.’
How to get women to chase you
Be the man she wants.
In today’s society many men are effeminate or beta males.
Women, especially high quality women, want a man who is confident, masculine, centred, who knows his value and worth and who is not afraid to stand up to her or challenge her.
For a woman to open up to you she needs to know you can make her feel safe and secure.
Once you start doing this she will chase you and that is exactly what ‘M’ did with me.
She texted me first.
When a woman does this she’s into you…big time.
You have made her feel safe and secure.
We went on two awesome dates and both times we made out passionately.
She then went overseas for the Christmas break and this is when I began to blow it with her…without even realizing it at the time.
She was chasing me and I had trained her to be that way.
For example, the day before she left to go abroad she sent me a text saying that she wanted to catch up but only had 30 minutes.
I told her I don’t do friendly catch ups with girls I’m dating and that I’ve got other things to do…let’s wait until you get back and see what happens.
She apologized and said she can’t wait. In hindsight I now know that when you say this you must stick to it and not fold…which is what I did.
She started texting me while she was away and I was texting her back.
Nothing wrong with that except the texts had become friendly and I was making myself too available…and I went against my word.
She had tested me and I had failed. I was also acting like her friend not her lover and she had put me in the ‘friend zone’ even before she’d returned home.
She confirmed this when we caught up and she faked having a chest infection so she wouldn’t have to kiss me.
Whenever I held her hand she tensed up and couldn’t wait for an opportunity to pull away.
Of course, I gave her more reasons to friend zone me by agreeing to catch up with her even though she was ‘sick,’ agreeing with her choice of date during the day (which is what friends do); not taking the lead and setting a date in the evening; agreeing to drive her car when she asked me; asking about her ex; and talking to her like she was a friend.
By the time I had caught on to what I was doing it was too late.
I sent her a text thanking her for the day (another mistake – let the woman do this) and she took 11 hours to reply.
That was it for me. I knew I had blown it so I did what she was thinking and ended it.
She called me and said she was OK with that and verbally confirmed what I had already known “I see you more as a friend.”
I redeemed myself somewhat by telling her that I can’t be around her and not ravish her so being friends doesn’t work for me.
She was shocked and confused – I’m sure she was thinking ‘what’s wrong with this guy?
One minute he’s a desirable Alpha male and the next he’s a weak and needy and unsure of himself.
If she had been thinking that she would’ve been right.
I would never admit it at the time, but that’s exactly how I was. And that’s OK because I was still learning.
Actually, I’m still learning, but I gained so much from this experience and now spend every day working on myself to ensure it never happens to me and the guys I work with again.
- If you tell a woman you’re going to do something stick to it. Act like her lover always. No friendly texting or chit-chat that lasts for hours.
- If she’s chasing you keep it that way – always let her be the first to text
- Don’t agree to her setting the date. Politely say ‘Hey that sounds great, but I’ve got something better in mind.’ When she says what? Just say ‘It’s a surprise…don’t worry you’re going to love it.” And she will…women love mystery and spontaneity.
- Don’t agree to drive her car unless you absolutely have to.
- Don’t talk about your ex. Sounds straight forward, but it’s not as easy as it sounds, especially if she brings it up first.
- Don’t catch up with her if she says she’s sick. Reschedule for another time. If she says ‘No, I’m fine,’ reply with ‘You might be, but I’m not. I don’t want to catch what you have. So we will do it another time.’
- And for God’s sake stick to your word!
As always, thanks for reading.