How To Attract Your Perfect Match Online

This is a three-part blog series.

In this first post we look at mindset and strategy

In part two we go deeper into mindset and strategy and cover the all –important dating profile and how to spot a fake one.

In part three we look at flirting, teasing and play fighting techniques that make her relax in her feminine energy and open up to you.

We then end this series with ideas for a successful first ‘off-line’ date and tips for taking it to the next level



“I’ve tried Tinder.  I’ve tried I’ve tried Plenty of Fish, OK Cupid, RSVP… I’ve tried most of them…they’re all a waste of time.”

This is what one of my clients said to me six months ago.  As an introvert this guy preferred using online dating to meet women.

Thing is he very rarely came across anyone that interested him or was interested in him.

If he did find someone, he said, she would never return his messages, winks, or had a “last online 3 weeks ago” pinned to her status.

Because of his limited success – a few conversations here and there with women he called ‘so, so,’ – he carried a limiting self belief: “I’ll never meet anyone I like online.”

Thing is, people meet their match online every day.

In fact people are connecting as you read this.

My client is now ‘meeting’ women online who he is attracted to and vice versa.

Here’s how he did it.


Step 1: I got him to lock himself away from the rest of the world for 30 minutes.

I spent 10 minutes with him meditating to clear the mind and increase his focus.

Step 2: I  then got him to ask the following question:

Who do I want to attract and why?

He said he wanted an attractive, high quality woman. Of course, this meant nothing. What is an attractive, high quality women?

So I asked him to describe in detail what this woman looks like – her face, body, hair, eyes, blemishes and flaws.

Then I got him to focus on:

  • The clothes she wears
  • What she looks like naked, in lingerie, in a bikini
  • The smell of her perfume
  • What she does to fill her time – work, study, interests, passions, etc.
  • Her beliefs, values, ethics and morals
  • What she likes – travel, adventure, indoors or outdoors, summer or winter, etc.
  • What her social circle looks like
  • What she sounds like when she talks, laughs, cries
  • What her smile reminds him of and how it makes him feel
  • What she looks like when she’s angry, sad, happy, playful, aroused
  • How does she walk
  • How does she make him feel when she’s with him
  • How does he make her feel when he’s with her

Step 3: In this step I got him to write down 5 things about himself that he is proud of and good at that he should be communicating more.  What he offers the other person and vice versa.


Step 4: In this step I got him to write down what strategies he will use to get the other person engaged and interested? His list included, humor, sarcasm, open-ended questions, banter, story telling, and a direct approach. I gave this strategy the seal of approval because this works very well.

I then got my client to make a copy of everything and stick it on his bedroom wall and make a commitment to review it at least once every day.

From Pain To Power

Doing all of the above is as a good starting point and highly effective.

But in order to attract what you really want you first need to attract what you are.

Let me explain.

Throughout my journey of becoming my best version I have learned you need to change the way you think about yourself and your environment…your self-talk and the way you talk to people.


In her book Feel The Fear. And Do It Anyway[1], Susan Jeffers calls this moving from a place of pain to one of power.

Jeffers explains power in this sense as:

“ The power over your perceptions of the world, power over how you react to situations in your life, power to do what is necessary for your own self growth, power to create joy and satisfaction in your life, power to act and power to love.”

A self-assured man who has the power within the self is extremely attractive and draws high quality women like a magnet.

When this becomes part of you and who you are you naturally communicate this both verbally and in writing – perfect for when you’re sending women emails….and when you meet up.

Where I see a lot of guys mess up both online and in the ‘real world’ is that they try to force conversations or come on too strong. Some act like complete dicks, or are needy and approval seeking and freeze up or act weird.

You know the type I’m talking about.

This approach works sometimes…on low value women.

You don’t want that type of woman.

You’re reading this because you want an amazing relationship with a woman who will go out of her way to make you happy and be happy with you.

A woman who will support, nurture and nourish you.

A woman who will treat you like a king – her king.

This is the woman you deserve.


As always thanks for reading.


Read part two.


[1] disclosure: This is an affiliate link – I will get a small commission if you click-through and buy this book. You are not charged extra for doing so.



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