Not Getting Any Sex: What Would James Bond Do?

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Two readers emailed me recently asking for my advice on how to avoid the no sex zone.

Here’s the email I got from ‘Jay.’  He writes:

Hey Michael… I consider myself a reasonably good looking guy.  I have a good job and make a good living from it.  I have no problem attracting women, but that’s as far as it goes.  When I ask them out they say they have a boyfriend or that they just want to be friends. It’s really frustrating because I’m not an asshole.   I respect women.  I buy them drinks, and sometimes pay for their taxi home if they’re too drunk and have no money.  I just don’t get it.

‘Gerrard’ from the UK writes:  

Michael, I’ve been with my girlfriend for over a year now and things are great. Lately she’s been saying that she thinks Zac Efron is hot and that she wants him so bad.  This didn’t bother me at first, but now it’s pissing me off.  We got into a massive argument about it.  I thought I’d patch things up with her by buying her flowers and candy, but she’s still saying it, even though she told me she would stop.  Worse, we used to have unbelievable sex, but now it’s anything but…It feels like it’s becoming a chore for her.

What Would James Bond Do?

He would start by asking why.  Why is Jay ‘lucking’ out all the time despite being good looking, financially secure, and nice to women?  Why is Gerrard’s girlfriend still saying she wants Zac Effron despite telling Gerrard she’d stop?  Why have they gone from having “unbelievable sex” to sex that feels like a ‘chore?’

They both have Nice Guy Syndrome and don’t understand women.

The way Jay acts around women is a classic symptom of the disease: weak, needy and approval seeking.  Gerrard’s condition is the same and on top that he is deeply insecure, apologetic for something he didn’t do, and burdened with toxic shame.

Nice guy’s make women want to throw up. This is why Jay is living in the no sex zone and Gerrard is having sex that is worse than having no sex at all.   If Gerrard continues being deeply insecure, apologizing for things he doesn’t do just to keep his girlfriend happy, and reacting with weak, needy, approval seeking behavior, three things will happen:

  • He’ll enter the no sex zone indefinitely
  • He’ll get dumped
  • He’ll get cheated on and then dumped

The Solution

Here’s how James Bond would remedy the problem and avoid the no sex zone.

Step 1:  He would read David Deida’s The Way Of The Superior Man, and Dr.Robert Glover’s No More Mr. Nice Guy, because he knows these two books will help you more than anyone or anything else understand women and overcome Nice Guy syndrome.

Step 2: He would go back and watch every 007 movie over and over and pay close attention to the way he interacts with women.  By doing this he would rediscover that he doesn’t supplicate to women, or seek their approval, or apologize for something he hasn’t done. He is respectful of women, but only respects them if they earn it.  Bond acts likes a man when it comes to seducing women – he sets the tone and takes the lead.  He is clear and direct, and unapologetic for wanting her, and his sexual needs as a man.

In my opinion, the following clip captures this perfectly:

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The feminine is naturally drawn to the masculine ( men who act like men).  The feminine gets wet through banter, teasing, sexual innuendo, mystery, danger, and men who make her feel desired.  It is not turned on by nice, polite, respect, good looks, six pack abs, ‘hot’ cars, or big bank accounts.  Women who go for this type of thing are only out to destroy you, for example, the ‘gold digger.’

Step 3: The next and most important thing James Bond would do to avoid the no sex zone -probably the hardest for most guys, but it’s the one thing that’ll get you results,  is take action.  Bond knows you have to get out of your comfort zone and apply what you learn.  It sounds logical, but I’m surprised with the number of guys I come across who know all this stuff, yet fail to put it into action.

Don’t be that guy.

Cari saluti da Melbourne! And as always, thanks for reading.

Suggested Further Reading:

Why The Nice Guy Is’t Really Nice At All – Interview With Robert Glover

How To Talk To Girls And Create Emotional Tension