In part 4 of How To Communicate Effectively With Women And Score Everytime we went over compliance and congruence tests in greater detail.
We saw how I failed a woman’s compliance and congruence tests, what I learned from them, and began examples of how to pass these tests.
In this post we will continue with examples of compliance tests and how to pass them.
We will dig deeper in to why she uses these tests.
We will look at when a compliance tests is not a test at all.
We will then continue with examples of congruence tests and how to pass them.
Throughout this post I will reference resources that will expand on what you learn here.
These resources helped me become better with women and I highly recommend them.
She wants to know how far she can push you before you say no – David Deida.
Throughout this course we have identified compliance and congruence tests and learned why women use these.
Let’s go over them again:
Compliance Tests – in its most basic element a compliance test is when a woman asks you to hold her drink, bag, coat, etc. when she could easily put it elsewhere.
See How To Communicate Effective With Women part 4 for a good example on how to pass this test.
A compliance tests is also when she asks you to grab her something when she could do it herself, for example, a snack from the kitchen, the TV remote and so forth.
Example 2: You’re in the kitchen fixing something.
She’s sitting on the sofa watching TV.
She asks you to grab her the chips.
A. Grab them for her.
B. Tell her your busy and that she will have to wait or get them herself.
If you picked A you failed her test because you stopped what you were doing to attend to her needs.
If you picked B you passed her test because you asserted yourself and put your needs before hers.
A woman – especially a high quality woman – finds it hard to trust a man who doesn’t assert himself – Bruce Bryans.
This is why she uses compliance tests.
She wants to know how far she can push you before you say no.
She wants to know how willing you are to please her.
She wants to know if you are capable of standing up to her and asserting yourself.
If you can’t stand up to her how can you stand up for her?
When you communicate effectively and assert yourself you score everytime, sex or otherwise.
And believe me, the sex is fucking awesome!
Your life is outstanding because you have a woman who treats you like her king,
She goes out of her way to make you happy and be happy with you because she can trust your masculine core.
She respects you as a man.
She feels safe and secure with you.
When Compliance Tests Aren’t Compliance Tests
In his blog marriedmansexlife relationship expert, Athol Kay points out the following:
A reasonable test made in a reasonable tone is not a compliance test.
Example: Your partner is making the bed. She asks you to please grab the sheets from the linen closet.
You both sleep in the bed so this is a reasonable request and you should comply.
A reasonable request made in an unreasonable tone is in fact a congruence test.
Example: She tells you to grab the sheets and does so in a disrespectful way.
“Get off your lazy ass and get me the sheets from the linen closet.”
Best response: “I don’t talk to you like that so you won’t talk to me like that. Now, if you ask me in a civilized manner, I’ll grab the sheets for you. Otherwise, I’m going to stay on my lazy ass.”
Bruce Bryans, author of What Women Want When They Test Men explains this test as:
any kind of conscious or subconscious behavior a woman exhibits while interacting with a man in order to discover if his external representation is consistent with his inner frame. In simpler terms, it’s a test to determine whether or not a man is, at his core, congruent with what he’s presenting to her
Your body language communicates to her that you are a confident, non-needy, non-approval seeking alpha male, like the guy in exhibit A.
As detailed in part 2 of How To Communicate Effectively With Women are hard-wired to seek out the dominant male in the pack.
She’s attracted to you and puts herself in your orbit.
You initiated the interaction.
You’ve passed Phase 1 of her test.
Now the fun begins…
If you know what you’re doing.
Phase 2 of her testing might go like this:
“Do you always sit like you own the joint?”
Before I became better with women I used to reply with something like:
“Is that what it looks like?”
“Yeah, it does.”
“Oh, shit..I didn’t realize it came across that way. Thanks for letting me know.”
Test well and truly failed.
I missed out on so many great opportunities because of it.
I don’t anymore. And neither will you.
When a woman uses this type of congruence on me today I might reply with:
“Are you trying to seduce me…naughty girl, we only just met,” with a James Bond grin.
If she says it in a bitchy way I might say:
“I’ll sit how I want…if you don’t like it leave.”
“Trust me, if I owned the joint I wouldn’t be sitting here…and you wouldn’t have made it pass the bouncers ”
“What’s your point?”
Test passed…for now.
Throughout the interaction she will test and test
Her testing is relentless and never-ending.
This is good.
It means she is head over heels for you or at least interested.
This is why she tests you.
She needs to make sure…
You’re staying on the path of masculine maturity.
Read part 6 here