4 Things Women Find Sexier Than Six Pack Abs And Good Looks


Women find six-pack abs sexy, and yes, good-looking men get noticed more than not so good-looking men.

If you have both good looks and six-pack abs you’re a ‘chick magnet.’

But here’s the thing: us men are visual creatures. When we see a sexy woman we want to fuck her brains out, no questions asked.  When women see an Adonis she’ll say things like “he’s so hot,” or “I want him so bad,” etc, but  they typically don’t want to fuck his brains out straight away.

Women are seeking answers to a ton of questions, both on conscious and sub conscious level, before they fuck a guy’s brains out. Exceptions to the rule apply if she’s:

  • off her tits (drunk)
  • desperate/insecure
  • a prostitute
  • a nymphomaniac
  • a gold digger
  • hasn’t developed as a woman (18-25)
  • my sister (just kidding sis…)

This post looks at some of the questions women are asking about men before they hook up with them and how to answer those questions.

Is He Congruent?

You’ve read about confidence here and elsewhere, heard guys talk about it, but what does it really mean and why do women find it sexier than six-pack abs and good looks?

To answer the last part of that question first – they don’t.

Now I know you’re thinking: “That’s bullshit!  Confident body language attracts women. Jordan Harbinger from the Art of Charm said so. You even say it does!!”

Take a deep breath, buddy. It’s OK.

Confident body language attracts women, but they don’t find it sexy (I just repeated myself, didn’t I…).

When you attract or pique the interest of women through confident body language she wants to know is he on the inside what he’s selling on the outside?  In other words is he congruent?

I know many confident, high-powered executives, thought leaders, and industry experts who freeze up around women.

Men who’ve got more swagger than Jagger at work, but fail a beautiful woman’s tests in the first few minutes by being weak, needy, and approval seeking.

This naturally drives women away – in fact, it makes them want to throw up.

Women want men who live honestly, have principles, character, and standards. Men who are more invested in themselves than her (non needy, non approval seeking), and who continually invest in themselves.

They want a masculine, mature man, who knows how to lead and control without being controlling, can communicate effectively, and who can stand up to them, not put them on a pedestal, and pass their ‘tests.’

This is the kind of confidence that makes women wet because you are on the inside what you’re selling on the outside. Woman instinctively trust and respect you as a man when they know this.  And when they trust and respect you as a man, they feel safe and secure with you = she’ll fuck your brains out!

Women are much more attracted to a man’s character and personality than by his good looks...Bruce Bryans


Does He Have ‘It?’

‘It’ is a man with a great personality (open-minded, friendly, thoughtful, approachable, flexible, someone she can just hang out with), good sense of humor, honesty, integrity, strong character, standards, principles, morals, and good verbal and non-verbal communication skills. These traits are  way more sexier to a high quality woman than six-pack abs and good looks.

She wants a man who she can connect with a deep level, who’s fun and makes her laugh, is mysterious, interesting, adventurous, playful, and most importantly listens to her. Here’s where becoming skilled in active listening helps.

Below’s an example of active listening skills in a committed relationship:

Girl: “I’m not going to stand for it”

Me: “OK, I can understand that. But I’m only going to ask you once. When you say I’m not going to stand for it, what do you mean exactly?”

Girl: “You coming home late every night. It scares me.”

Me: “Are you scared because you think something’s happened to me or because you think I’m cheating on you?”

Girl:”Both. My dad was coming home late every night because he was cheating on my mum. When she found out they got a divorce. This messed me up bad for a long time. I don’t want to go through that again.”

Me: “Honey, I love you. I won’t say I understand what that must’ve felt like for you because I’ve never been through it. But here’s the thing. If I ever stopped loving you I would tell you, not cheat on you. Your feelings are important to me, so here’s what I’m going to do. I’ll cut back on working overtime two days a week. That way I can spend more time throwing rotten eggs at you.”

N.B. You need to set clear and firm boundaries with women from the start.  When she says she wants to talk to you about something that’s bothering her at work, for example, let her know that you’ll only listen if she gives you the man version (abridged).  If she feels she is unable to do that suggest she would find it more helpful talking to one of her girlfriends.  Do not sit there and listen to her go on and on about Margaret being a bitch at work or whatever.  You’ll become her emotional tampon and over time she’ll lose respect for you and will either (a) put you in the no sex zone; (b) cheat on you; (c) dump you; or (d) dish you up a double serving of both (b) and (c)

The traits outlined above are masculine qualities that turn her on and make her see you as an irrefutable leader and irreplaceable lover.


This one should be common sense, but I’m amazed with the number of guys I see every day who literally stink, and metaphorically stink in the grooming department…and wear sweat pants to the gala ball. Not really, but you get the idea.

Here’s the thing: You’re a good-looking dude. You’ve got six-pack abs or are at least in good shape.

Fuck, you’re  even congruent.

But if you fucking stink, or have no fucking clue about style and fashion, or fucked up grooming habits, it’s fucking over before it begins, fucker! (fuck me that’s a lot of fucks!)

That’s right, regardless of your physique and the fact that you’ve ‘got it all together,’ if you fall short in these areas it’s game over.

Every woman I’ve been in a committed or short-term relationship with has told me, point-blank, how much of a turn off poor dress sense, grooming and hygiene is.

They also said they would pass up a date with Brad Pitt if he fell short in this area.

Take note guys.

They all mentioned that they find a well-groomed, clean, average looking Joe sexier than a poorly groomed, high on the nose stud.  If you need help in this area check out any  the many very good men’s fashion, grooming and hygiene blogs.


On the subject of dress sense let’s take a look at the mass media.

Despite what you see in the movies, in the tabloids, and on social media, women want men who dress like men, not women.

A high quality woman doesn’t want a man who wears skinny jeans, pink, or long t- shirts, has a ‘man bun’ or carries a ‘man bag.’

If you see women with these types of ‘men’ she is either doing what society tells her to do, is incredibly insecure or domineering, or both, or the guy has been ‘friend zoned.’

So how do you dress like a man?

Wear clothes that fit and match, reflect your masculinity and high standards. If you don’t know what I’m on about visit an old school tailor or stylists and ask them.

Repeat after me: if I watch another Alpha M video about fashion and styling I will throw away my man card.

Upgrading your wardrobe doesn’t need to cost a fortune, either – I recently upgraded my wardrobe for under $250.

You don’t and won’t ever see James Bond in skinny jeans, or baggy shirts, or wearing a fucking ‘man bun.’ And you will never see Clint Eastwood, John Wayne, Sly Stallone, or James Dean carrying a ‘man bag.’

I mention the above ‘action heroes’ because they are masculine mature men and dress accordingly.  My advice is model yourself on these men and not just their fashion sense. Study their behavior, the way they carry and conduct themselves, and the way they interact with and around women.


Women find many things in a man sexier than six-pack abs and good looks. A  man deep in his purpose or curating his own path, for example, is something high quality women find very attractive.

Each book in the suggested further reading list highlights these things in detail. Make sure you read them at least 10-15 times, and then apply what you learn.

Cari saluti da Melbourne! And as always, thanks for reading.

Suggested Further Reading:

The Way Of The Superior Man, by David Dieda

Models; Attract Women Through Honesty, by Mark Manson

How To Be A 3% Man…, by Corey Wayne

What Women Want In A Man, by Bruce Bryans



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A 'perfectly imperfect' man doing all I can to be a better man. When I'm not blogging, I'm kicking ass in Krav Maga class, belting out classic rock tunes on my Slash Les Paul, learning Italian language and cooking, or just hanging out with family. If you liked this post please help me reach more men by hitting the share buttons/telling your friends about my work. And If you would like to know more about me just click on the 'About' tab above or follow me on social media. Grazie!