Why It Took Me 15,875 Days And 30 Seconds To Find My Calling (2)




This is part two of why it took me 15,875 days and 30 seconds to find my calling.  You can read part one here.

In this post I talk about how fear and lack of self-worth kept me stuck and making the same mistakes over again.

I talk about how things reached rock bottom before I said enough is enough.

I end this post by walking the reader through the steps I took to rebuild my self-esteem and confidence and become the best version of myself.  After 15,875 days of looking I finally found my calling…in 30 seconds!


Why It Took Me 15,875 Days And 30 Seconds To Find My Calling (2)


In March 2014 my life turned upside down… again.

I was in the country making sales calls when my ex rang and said she had found out through a reliable source that ‘K’ was cheating on me.

I got the details of this source and rang them. They confirmed what my ex had told me and sent me proof. I was gutted.

Even though we were still arguing and fighting we had been making, what I thought, progress in our relationship.

I broke up with ‘K’ straight away and she happily said good-bye and moved in with her new partner, Tiffany.

I started seeing a reasonably attractive, albeit emotionally bankrupt, woman with a slender figure who obsessed over me.

Actually, she stalked me day and night.

But it was an upgrade from my previous partners and the sex was awesome, so I put up with it…for a short time.


Why Would You Do That?

Six months later ‘K’ asked me if she and her new partner could move in with me and I agreed.

Everyone asked me “why would you do that? She cheated on you.”

I convinced myself it was because  I was a good person. A forgiving person.

Truth is, I was weak.

I went out to meet women but became so nervous in the interactions that I got rejected time after time.

I got rid of my stalker ‘fuck buddy’ and left my secure sales job for a much more lucrative, but less secure one, which lasted three months.

I then moved on to an even worse sales job that paid less than my secure one.

I went out to meet women but became so nervous in the interactions that I got rejected time after time.

I even had an average looking, overweight woman reject me.

I covered up the pain and frustration by telling myself I’m not good with women, but that’s just me, that’s just who I am.

I’m not good at talking to people but that’s just me, that’s just who I am. I get nervous in groups or at parties, but that’s just me, it’s just who I am.

Deep down inside I was hurting…bad.

I projected this on to people around me.

I was aggressive, argumentative and critical of everyone.

I put people down to build myself up.

I became withdrawn, anxious and (mildly) depressed.

I convinced myself no-one liked me and I would never have friends.

I convinced myself I would never have anyone special in my life because no decent woman would want me.

Can you relate? If you answered yes I applaud you.

The first step in making any transformation is being honest with yourself and accepting you need to change things.

Even if this doesn’t sound like you and you’re crushing it in your life, I can help you avoid making mistakes with women if you’re single, improve your existing relationships, or overcome a fear or limiting self belief.

I wasn’t going to stand for not living an extraordinary life and neither should you.

When the student is ready, the teacher will appear.

My transformation began by reading and watching everything I could on re-booting my inner-confidence, on becoming better with women and relationships, and how to become the best version of myself.

In just over a year I started dating amazing women, quit my crappy job and started studying Youth Work, started this blog, landed a high paying senior role with no experience, became VP of Public Relations at my local Toastmasters group, run a successful Extreme Confidence Bootcamp twice a year, 1-1 coaching workshops, plus so much more.

After 15,875 days of looking I found my calling…in 30 seconds – the time it took me to say enough is enough.

I started this blog so you can learn from my wins and mistakes and become your best version and live the life you deserve now.

In my journey, I found stuff that worked well and stuff not so well, but that’s part of the learning process.

You can access the stuff that has helped me in the Resources Page.

Failure is only feedback


What makes me different to the next guy?

Firstly,  my writing style is unique and engaging – I know how to ‘wrap facts around a story’ so you absorb what you read and learn something from it.  I’m not afraid to swear and see this as form of creative expression.

I won’t pretend I have the perfect life, with the perfect family, where everyday is incredible.

I have trials and tribulations…like everyone.

“Pain is inevitable, suffering is a choice.” – Tony Robbins.

Secondly, as you can gather from my story, the old me made the same mistakes over and over, settled for second best and was weak, insecure and needy. That in itself is a lesson I can pass on to you straight away; you are worth so much more that what you’re getting now.  Live life on your terms.  You will learn how to do that here through my experiences and the resources I share.


Thirdly, helping people transform their lives and live they life they deserve is my mission, purpose and obsession.


This means I won’t rest until you are living your best (hey, I am a poet after all!).


As always, thanks for reading.


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