“Why You Freeze Up Around Beautiful Women” is a ‘Link Post ‘ and part of the Problogger 7 Day Blog Groove Challenge.
All links are toothless and won’t (can’t) bite, so you’re good to go! Actually, that’s not entirely true…”The Man’s Search For Meaning” link has razor-sharp teeth and will tear the flesh off your bone.
Here’s the scenario: You’re sitting at the bar with your mates.
You look over at the big screen to make sure your team is still winning and you notice her.
She makes your heart skip a beat.
You’re in love.
You’ve got to have her.
She spots you staring at her.
You look away first.
Then you look over at her again and she smiles at you.
You don’t act on it at first
…but then you’re mates tell you you’re a pussy if you don’t go and talk to her.
You take a deep breath, think of the line you’re going to use and walk over to her .
Your chest is tight and your heart is pounding.
You’re nervous as heck but she’s seen you coming her way – you can’t back out now.
As you get closer to her you forget you’re awesome line.
Too late now
“Hey, how’s it going?”
“Not bad, thanks. How are you?”
“I’m good. What’s your name?”
“Nice to meet you Michael.”
“Likewise…so what do you do Sharon?”
“I’m a nurse.”
“Cool…how long have you been a nurse for?”
“Uh, about three years now.”
“Cool, do you like it?”
“Yeah, it’s challenging, but very rewarding. What do you do?”
“I’m a sales rep.”
“Do you like it?”
“Ah…yeah…it’s good..listen I..er..have to get back to my mates…it was nice meeting you.”
You go back to your mates and bullshit about how she wasn’t really your type while inside
…you’re kicking yourself for ‘stuffing’ up again.
She’s confused as all fuck as to what just happened.
‘Why did he leave? He was cute…’
This was me 12 months ago.
I used to freeze up around beautiful women.
Sometimes I wouldn’t even go over and talk to them, even when they gave me visual cues they wanted me to approach.
I would convince myself it was because they weren’t my type, or because they looked like a bitch, or they were too young or some other bullshit story.
I missed out on many awesome opportunities.
This went on and on until I had enough.
I needed to fix this.
I must fix this.
The solution to any problem is finding the cause.
What was causing me to freeze?
Needy, approval seeking behavior (nice guy persona).
When I approached a beautiful woman I was doing so from a place of being needy.
I needed her approval.
I needed her to like me.
How can you be attractive when you’re worrying if you’re saying the right thing or agreeing with everything she says even when you don’t?
This is why you freeze up around beautiful women.
Why you get nervous and anxious.
And why she exits the conversation.
It repels her.
Don’t give up.
And don’t settle.
You can have that hot girl.
If you invest in yourself.
Get to know yourself on a deep level . Touch base with how awesome you are.
“People will do more to avoid pain than they will to gain pleasure” – Tony Robbins.
The following books and You Tube channels that have helped me and they’ll help you as well:
What Women Want In A Man by Bruce Bryans
How To Be A 3% Man by Corey Wayne
Models: Attract Women Through Honesty by Mark Manson
The Way Of The Superior Man by David Deida
“We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence, therefore, is not an act but a habit” – Aristotle.
Read each book and watch the videos until your eyes bleed then go out and apply what you learn.
You won’t get it right the first time.
Preserve, persist, be patient, and be resilient.
You deserve the best.
It is your birthright.
How Big Are You Balls?
A matrix exits in psychology called Paradoxical Intentions whereby the subject deliberately does what they fear the most.
Dr. Viktor Frankl, the founder of Logotherapy, and author of Man’s Search for Meaning coined the term and “advocated its use by patients experiencing severe forms of anxiety disorders.”
It lay terms it means approaching a woman you find attractive and deliberately freezing.
Doing this takes balls…big balls.
But if you can do it you’ll overcome freezing up whenever you talk to a hot woman
…quicker than any other method or teaching I’ve mentioned in this post.
Are you up for the challenge?
Are your balls big enough?
Let me know how you go.
As always, thanks for reading.